The C Word
by fatwhitecat
Summary: AH When life gives you a death sentence, find someone who makes you feel alive. Bella is given the worst news, and decides to see the world. Enter Edward, Alice's older brother who is a free-spirited nature photographer. A story of finding strength and love when you think there is none to be found.
1. Prologue

C.

The letter by itself doesn't seem all that imposing. It doesn't scream danger, or threaten to jump off the page or from the mouth of babes to attack you off-guard.

But like most things, the letters that follow strengthen it.

Add a vowel and a consonant, and you make a thought an ability. No longer do you think you will make it up Mount Everest. Instead, you can and you will stand at the top of that damned mountain and scream to the heavens that you have achieved the un-achievable. You now have the power, and it is described using three letters; two consonants and a vowel.

See, on our own, we don't always have the power to do all that we want to. But together, we can.

In the same way that two letters following C makes us feel invincible, a collection of other letters will also bring our world to an end.

The letters A, C, E, N, and R said aloud in order doesn't bring fear to our hearts. Instead, a feeling of confusion may wash over you. The first thing you may realize is that those letters have been said in alphabetical order. Or maybe you realized that they could be an anagram for racen (if there is such a word).

What if the letters C, A, N, E, and R were said?

Would your mind automatically jump to a conclusion of another made up word, such as caner? Or would you think of a word so life-threatening, so taboo, that an extra C suddenly appeared between the N and E?

CANCER.

Just like the Spanish Influenza that occurred some eighty years ago, cancer has become our generations biggest killer. It isn't something we can hide from under our duvets, which always seems to make the bumps in the night disappear. It is invisible to the naked eye, hiding beneath our skin almost unable to recognize, yet statistics show one in three people will develop cancer in their lifetime.

Nature has a way of giving life; such a rare and beautiful thing that should be cherished, but it also has a way of taking it away. Some may call it karma, others a natural process of balancing the world's population. Others still may believe it is a higher power ridding the world of evil and making us suffer for the sins of our fellow man.

Either way, there will always be disease ready and waiting to affect us. Cancer is slowly but surely being cured, and research is being funded by many great people hoping to rid this horrid disease once and for all.

But once cancer is cured, what is next?

My name is Bella Swan, age twenty-three. Today, August 24th 2015, half a month before I turn twenty-four, I found out I have cancer.


	2. Freak Out

**Welcome to a new story!**

 **This one might be a bit sad for some of you at first, but it's something I have always wanted to write about. I have never had cancer, and thankfully have never had to watch a loved one experience this horrible disease, but I have always been an enthusiast when it comes to raising money for cancer research.**

 **I hope you like this story, and please let me know what you think in the reviews box at the bottom...**

I love watching kids play. The innocent and carefree way they run around makes my heart swell. It's eighty degrees today in Seattle, and it's a miracle by itself that it's not raining, let alone that the sun is shining.

Mothers are taking advantage of today, which is visible from the bench I sit on in the park. A little girl sitting by the jungle gym stops what she is doing and stares at me between the gate that separates us, before chasing a brown haired boy to the slide.

I don't blame her; my face must be all blotchy and red from my tears.

This morning I went to the doctor's office. This morning the doctor told me the results of my tests I took three days ago. This morning I became aware of the fact that I had cancer.

I never would have thought that I would develop cancer. My mother or father's families didn't have a history of cancer, I don't smoke, hell I don't even eat microwave-ready meals. It's a sad fact of life though, that no matter how safe you might play it, if your luck ain't in, it ain't in. And my luck has never been in.

"Bella, I'm so sorry that you have had to hear this news." Doctor Banner said earlier that morning. He was a specialist in bone cancer, which I had been tested for. "Unfortunately, the type of tumor you have developed isn't operable. We could start you on chemotherapy, but that will only add a few weeks at most."

I could feel the doctor staring at me as I sat there in shock for a few moments.

"I have to go to work, doctor. I only took an hour and they do get quite annoyed if I'm back late." I started to stand up when he grabbed my arm.

"Bella, please stay to talk about this. We might be able-"

"Doctor, please. You just explained that nothing will work. No operation, no chemotherapy." I let out a slight chuckle, although this was far from funny. "What else can I do?"

I stared at the man, silently willing him to come up with a miracle.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He looked down at the ground and released my arm. "At least make an appointment with me for tomorrow? We can discuss this more, and what your next step can be."

"Thank you for everything, doctor."

He sighs, knowing that I will not come back tomorrow, that he has issued me my death sentence. He isn't the bad guy, but he has just been the judge, jury and executioner in the story of my life.

Walking out of the hospital, I somehow found myself in the park, and that's where I have been for the last three hours.

My phone has rang four times already, and I decide to answer on the fifth.

"Hello?"

"Hi Angela." I take a deep breathe to calm my shaky voice, and wipe my face as if my boss can see me through my mobile device.

"Bella! I was worried about you. How was the appointment? Is it serious?"

"Sorry, Ange. I was going to call. I'll be in the office in about twenty minutes. Can we have a meeting when I get there?" I start to gather my bag onto my shoulder and walk to my truck which I left in the hospital car park.

"Sure, Bella." I can hear shuffling papers in the background, and I assume she must be clearing her desk for our meeting. Angela is nothing but immaculate. "Is it something I need to be worried about?"

"Um, don't worry too much, I'll be there soon." I jump into the front and start the engine, roaring it to life.

"Okay, I trust you. See you soon." I disconnect the call and make my way downtown where I work.

When I left college, I realized that I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. My parents died in a car accident when I was three months into my first semester, and I was lost for a long time not knowing what to do with my life.

The driver that collided with my parents was drunk, and ironically made it out of the crash unscathed. Due to this, the insurance my parents had taken out paid quite generously. As I was an only child, and both my parents' extended family had also all passed away, I was given one hundred thousand dollars.

Due to their untimely deaths, I had to decide quickly what I wanted to study and do with the rest of my life. I was essentially alone in the world. I wasn't known to be the most outgoing person, and I could count my friends on one hand.

I decided to follow my mother's footsteps I the end and become a paralegal. She always had stories to tell about the cases she worked on when she was younger, and always stated it was the perfect job you could be comfortable in.

Flash-forward five years and I was working for Angela in Seattle's best law firm. Our team specialized in childcare, and although it was emotionally draining with some cases, the feeling I get when a case goes right overrides everything.

Before I know it, I'm stepping out of my truck and flashing my badge to the security man.

"Morning Bella." Alice Whitlock, my best friend greets me as I walk out of the elevator. I got her this job when she had her first child and wanted something part-time. She gives me one look, and runs around the desk in four inch stilettos to pull me into her embrace.

"Tonight. Me and Rose are coming round." Her tone leaves no room for discussion, and I nod my head and offer her a weak smile. She and Rose always have been and always will be there for me, ever since we were kids in kindergarten.

"Ok. I'll get my wine on." I smile at her and walk away, feeling her gaze on my back. I spot Angela in her glass enclosed office and smile. I have never understood the idea of glass offices. Everyone can see what you do, and it's not exactly sound-proof, so there really is no reason apart from giving you a sense of superiority over everyone who sits in the open plan ahead of you.

Shaking my head, I realize everyone else is currently at lunch in our area, and knock on Angela's door. She whips around and beckons me inside, and I enter closing the glass door behind me.

"Hi Bella." Angela has a warm smile. She must be in her mid-forties, what with the success she has already had in the firm, but she doesn't look a day over thirty with her youthful face and black-rimmed glasses. "What's up?"

"I-um." I shake my head at myself, and intertwine my fingers together. _Fuck this is harder than I thought._ "I want you to fire me."

I'm startled by her laughter, and my eyes shook up to see her staring at me with mirth in her eyes. "Funny, Bella. Really, what can I do?"

"I have cancer." As I continue to stare at her, I can see the laughter leave her eyes slowly but surely.

"Are you serious?" I just sit there, not bothering to nod or shake my head. "Oh Bella!" Next thing I know, she's launched herself out of her chair and has wrapped me in her embrace. I haven't felt a hug like this, one that feels motherly and safe and protective in ages.

"I'm sorry. But there isn't anything that can be done. It's inoperable and chemo won't help a bit." I pull away from her hug and offer her a smile. "The only thing I can do now is live my life. I can see the world, travel a bit." As I say this, I realize it is what I want. The insurance pay-off still sat in my bank account untouched, as our family home was sold and with the money I brought myself an apartment here in Seattle. I could live out every dream I had ever had and travel the world, and come back well-seasoned before whatever happens, happens.

"Bella, what if the doctor was wrong? What if he got the tests mixed up and you're really fine? Shouldn't you wait to see what happens?" I can tell Angela is desperate, because she isn't even taking a breath while she shoots questions at me.

"Ange. If it's a mistake, I'm sure you will be willing to take me back as an employee. If it's not? I don't want to waste time finding out, when I could only have three weeks left to live." I plead with Angela, feeling my eyes grow wet with tears. I don't want to cry now though. This is hard enough as it is.

"Okay. Okay, you're fired Bella." She chuckles as she speaks, thinking as I do that this would never happen because of my behavior at work. "Don't worry about anything. Just grab your stuff and we're done." She pulls me into one last hug as we stand up. "Keep in touch, yeah?"

"Of course. Thank you for everything." I give her one last smile before I walk out of her office and over to my desk. I grab the picture of my parents and a bag of peanuts I keep to snack on before walking away. Thank God none of the others are back from lunch yet.

As I walk towards the reception desk, I see Alice disconnecting a call.

"Hey babes. Where are you going?" She looks at me from over the desk, and I laugh at how small she looks.

"Heading home for the day, Al. I'll see you in a few hours?" I offer her a smile, and she grimaces back at me.

"Okay.. You're freaking me out a bit though."

"Always, little one." I chuckle and offer a wave over my shoulder as I enter the elevator again.

As I turn around, I get one last glance at the open plan office I fell in love with the first day I started and say a little prayer that I will see it again.

Three hours later, I sit on the floor of my bedroom surrounded by the clothes that took up the space in my wardrobe. Since arriving home, I have done three things.

1\. Successfully opened and drank one bottle of Pinot Grigio, and took off my shoes.

2\. Researched Eastern countries, and have decided that the country I would most like to visit is most definitely India, and book tickets to leave tomorrow.

3\. Successfully opened and drank half another bottle of Pinot Grigio, but not so successfully changed into my pajamas.

Somewhere between deciding what time I would like to be on an airplane to India, I had a sudden bright idea to start packing the travelling backpack I brought the first and last time I went camping with my father.

And that is how I came to be sitting on the floor, surrounded by clothing and trying to ignore the banging noise I keep hearing.

"Bella!" I hear footsteps and Alice's voice, and call out that I'm in the bedroom. Two seconds later, a short black haired girl and Amazonian blonde goddess creep into my room and burst into laughter.

"What are you doing, Baby B?" Rosalie has always been the mother of our three, and I see the laughter in her eyes as she looks down on me from her great height. She and Alice drop onto the floor beside me, and pull out wine bottles of their own, swigging from the bottle as I have been.

"Just sorting through some clothes. I'm going away for a little while." As I talk, I'm folding a pair of jeans, and look up when neither say anything. "I got my results today. It's not exactly good, guys."

"How bad?" Alice asks, taking a swig from her bottle.

"Bad. Bad enough that I want to go travelling, and asked Ange to fire me today." I chuckle at this, and ignore the incredulous looks on their faces.

"How the fuck are you laughing at this, Bella Swan?" Rose throws her hands in the air, and I see tears pool in her eyes, which I can't help but laugh at. _I shouldn't have opened that other bottle._ "You're fucking laughing!" Rose has started to go red, and I know she is angry now. But I can't help it.

"For fuck's sake Bella!" Alice screams, making me sober some. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Both of them are now staring at me, and all the anger I didn't know I was harboring finally gets let loose.

"What the fuck is wrong with me? Oh, I don't know Alice. Maybe my fucking parents are dead and I have no family! Maybe I have cock-sucking shitting cancer, and my friends don't understand that if I don't fucking laugh, I will fucking cry. Because my life has been shit enough till now, but somehow it's got motherfucking worse!"

By the time I'm finished, I'm blowing air out of my nostrils at an alarming rate, and daring them with my eyes to say something. We're all quiet for a moment, and I take the opportunity to drink some of my wine.

"Cocksucking shitting cancer? Where do you even come up with this shit, Bells?" Rose says, and we all start laughing. But it's the laughter that is hysterical and ends up making you cry.

We somehow make a bed of my clothes, and they cocoon me in their embrace while we stop our tears.

"Sorry, guys." I hiccough, making them laugh. "I just don't know what else to do. I jut know I don't want to be stuck here and be babied while I could go on an adventure around the world."

"We get it Bella, of course we do. But you're our baby girl. We just don't want you to be alone." Alice sighs and sits up, grabbing her bottle. "OHMYGOD!"

"Shit, what Ali?" Rose screams, and I begin looking for spiders. Can't stand those crawly things. The thought makes me chuckle under my breathe as I realize the countries I want to travel to will have bigger spiders than Seattle does.

"Bella? You remember my brother, Edward, right?"

As I slowly turn red, my thoughts turn to Alice's brother. Edward Cullen.

He was three years older than us and loved to tease us relentlessly, but had a soft spot for me. He was my first crush, kiss and the boy who taught me to dance. He was the object of all my affection while we were growing up, but like all good things it came to a horrible end.

The last time I saw Edward was at Alice and Jasper's wedding three years ago.

 _Being the best maid of honor, I had offered to greet the twenty-five guests into Alice's house and direct them to the garden where the ceremony was being held._

 _"Bella Swan."_

 _A voice that could melt butter whispered my name, and I froze. I would know that voice anywhere, even if I lived to be senile and a hundred. The same voice had once reasoned with my every thought and fantasized our future together. The voice would wake me up in the darkness of Alice's room, only to sing me to sleep in his and wake me up again to avoid being caught by his parents._

 _He became my darkest secret, and although what we did wasn't wrong, I knew no one would understand, or let me stay at Alice's overnight if they found out._

 _The voice had told me countless times how much he loved me; my hair, my beauty, me. But he had also told me once that he didn't want me anymore. That we were too immature and he was getting older and needed more. That I wasn't what was best for him anymore. Then he disappeared from the house and me, and I hadn't seen him until today._

 _Turning slowly, I look up and am met by the green eyes that have haunted my dreams for the last six years. He looks the same, but more older and wiser. His jawline is sharper and covered in stubble, and his body is lean in a navy suit, but his eyes are still able to penetrate my very soul._

 _"Edward, is that you?"_

 _Sighing heavily, he pushes his hand through his hair and smiles tightly. "Yes, Bella. It's me."_

 _"Long time no see. I would say it's a surprise, but I guess this is your house." I chuckle slightly and feel my cheeks heat. I raise my eyes to see him fixated on my cheeks. He always said he loved my blush. But then, he also said he loved me._

 _"Yeah, I guess I had to make a cameo." He smiles at me awkwardly and shoves his hands into his pockets. "I, uh. I heard about your parents. I'm sorry Bella, I wish I was there for-"_

 _"Don't worry, Edward." I cut him off smoothly. "Thanks, but I don't like talking about it."_

 _"No, no. Of course. I'm sorry I shouldn't have." I find it slightly amusing that this man in front of me is struggling to find words right now. "I heard from Alice that you've started working at a law firm?" At my nod, he smiles. "Well done. Your mother would be proud, B."_

 _My eyes widen and I stare at him. I don't know what angers me more; the fact that he spoke as if he knew what my mother would have wanted, or that he used his nickname for me._

 _"Oh really Edward?" I purr, making him gulp. "The fact that you think my mother would be proud means everything to me. Because you always know best, don't you Edward."_

 _I see his eyes widen and he begins puffing like a fish as I scoff and turn on my heel to head out into the garden. While we were talking everyone has gathered outside and fro the clock in the hall I see we have five minutes till Alice will be walking out._

 _But of course I am Bella Swan, and I catch the heel of my shoe on the rug and feel my legs give way from beneath me. Bracing for the fall, I close my eyes and squeak but find myself enclosed in strong arms instead of the floor._

 _My feet suddenly get scooped up and I'm being carried into the downstairs guest room._

 _"Edward! What are you doing!" I look up and see anger on Edward's face as he throws me onto the bed. "What the fuck? You're such an immature prick."_

 _I move to sit up when he locks the bedroom door and places the key on the chest of drawers behind him._

 _"Okay, firstly, what is with the language? What happened to the Bella that couldn't even say shit?" He is trying to hide his laughter, and I decide to hit him where it hurts._

 _"She had to grow some balls when the love of her life walked away from her and left her to feel shit about not being enough for him." I stare at him and watch his shoulders slump._

 _"Bella, you have to know I didn't want to leave you. I love you." He looks at me from under his eyelashes and I can't help but laugh._

 _"Oh bullshit! You should hear yourself Edward. You think you can fool me again?" I get up and stop a foot in front of him. "I'm not the same gullible little girl who you can dazzle anymore. I've been through more than you can even dream of the past few years, and I did that alone. I didn't need you then, and I don't need you now."_

 _I reach behind him and grab the key, unlocking the door and pulling it open._

 _"I'm going to watch your sister get married. I think you should as well."_

 _I walk out of the room and leave him there. Once I'm round the corner, I swallow a sob and wipe the runaway tears from under my eyes and collapse against the wall. I told myself I wouldn't let him affect me like that, and I failed miserably. Pulling myself together, I see I have a minute before Alice is due to walk out and walk into another room that leads outside where she and Rose were getting ready earlier._

 _"There you are Bella!" Alice squeals looking in no way nervous. "Come on, we're about to walk out."_

 _I turn and see Carlisle, her father standing behind her smiling brightly. Rose is next to her shaking her head and giggling._

 _"I know, Bells. She doesn't look anything like a blushing bride. We're keeping that one for you." He smiles crookedly and reminds me of his son. He has blonde hair and could easily pass for half his age, and has been a second father to me forever._

 _"Oh shush, old man." Alice grins widely and pulls Rose and I by the hand behind her. "You girls ready?" She shakes her bum at us and doesn't wait for our reply before grabbing her father's arm and dragging him outside._

 _"Married life won't change her." Rose giggles to me and we walk behind them to the alter made up in the garden._

 _The ceremony passes quickly and I feel a powerful stare coming from a certain man in the front row, but I refuse to look at him until Alice and Jasper finally kiss and begin walking back down the aisle._

 _As Rose and I follow with the best men, I sneak a glance at him but find him instead staring at Jacob who is Jasper's best man with hatred in his eyes._

 _Jasper and Jacob grew up with us along with Rose's fiancé Emmett. As Emmett and Rose got together and Alice and Jasper, everyone always assumed Jacob and I would be drawn to each other. At the time, I was secretly seeing Edward, and kept deflecting Jacob's advances. He eventually got the message, but always held me on a peddle stool, and would often ask me out._

 _I rolled my eyes at Edward and instead focused on the day as we walked to the tent that had been set up in the Cullen's sprawling yard._

 _Three hours later, everyone was on the dancefloor slightly drunk. The speeches had been done, and the first dance had brought tears to all the women's eyes as Jasper held his new wife close to him as they danced to "The Way You Look Tonight"._

 _I excused myself from the circle us girls had made to get another drink. The dancing was making me thirsty, but I was drinking water as I had to drive back to the city tonight for a big case tomorrow. The sun had set, and the stars were out in full force; the perfect night for a perfect couple._

 _As I was walking to the bar, I was grabbed by the arm out of the tent and by the treeline._

 _"Get the fuck off of me! I'll scream!" I pulled my knee back to kick my attacker when I heard him chuckle and I groaned._

 _"Yeah right, B. Like you could hurt me." I could tell he was drunk partly because his words were slurred but mostly because I couldn't stop staring at him throughout the night where I saw him drink at least two bottles of wine to himself._

 _"Oh yeah?" I turned in his arms and lifted myself onto my tiptoes. "Watch this." I whispered against his lips, and heard him moan._

 _Then I swiped his legs from underneath him. He fell to the floor laughing and pulled me with him, rolling us so he was resting on his elbows above me._

 _"Fuck, I've missed you." He began to kiss my neck, sucking and licking and making me mewl like a cat in heat. I pulled him up by his hair and stared at him. "I love you, Bella. I always have and I always will. You don't understand what-"_

 _"Stop."_

 _I spoke so quietly I was surprised he heard me, and moved from underneath him to get up. Brushing the twigs from my navy dress, I looked down at him and heard him gasp when he saw the tears in my eyes._

 _"Love, are you hurt? B, I'm sorry. I'll make it better."_

 _His voice. It always came down to his voice. I stared at him and watched him rise to his feet as he wiped the tears from under my eyes. He held me in his arms and whispered words that I was meant to hear of his love, but were lost on me. His voice was soothing me, and making me feel safe, like I was fifteen and he eighteen again._

 _But it couldn't be. The pain I felt was too much, too raw to have been imagined. We weren't young loves again, sneaking behind our families and friends backs. We were adults. We had experienced life, and although I wanted so much to believe him, I couldn't. I couldn't face the heartbreak again._

 _"I love you Edward. I just can't lose you again; I won't make it this time round."_

 _I looked to see his eyes shining brightly, and pressed a kiss to his lips._

 _Then I ran like hell._

"Bella?" Alice clicked her fingers in front of my face with a smile, and laughed when I jerked in shock.

"Huh? I just was, uh, trying to remember the last time I saw Edward." I smiled sweetly at her and saw her smile dim. _What's that about?_

"Yeah, my wedding right?" She and Rose looked at me, and I nodded taking another drink of wine. "Well, Edward is in Nepal currently. He's a nature photographer now, and I'm sure he would love for you to join him. It would be better for you to travel with someone and be safe."

She and Rose look at me with expectation in their blue eyes, and I laugh.

"I'm sorry guys, I've booked my tickets already to India." I smile lazily at them and then cover my ears at their shouts.

"What?" I screech, hiding behind my pillow. "I leave tomorrow night! We can have dinner or something."

"You didn't tell us you were leaving tomorrow!" Rose is having a mini panic attack slurring in French about my apartment and plants, which she knows I don't have.

"Chill Ro! I don't have any plants, and you guys can make sure the apartments okay while I'm gone." I see them look at eachother and then back at me. "What?" I ask, feeling scared.

"Oh we'll look after your apartment." Rose says sweetly.

"But we're getting you a new wardrobe." Alice finishes, clapping her hands together.

"But...I leave tomorrow." I say dumbly, and watch them chuckle like the mean girls they are. "Oh, silly Bella. This is Rosalie Hale and Alice Whitlock you're talking about shopping to. Don't ask such silly questions."

We all fall into a fit of laughter and I receive pats on the back.

"By God, Ro. She finally understands!"

 **So yeah... Don't know how this is going to be perceived but hopefully you guys like it!**

 **I haven't decided yet how often I'll update, but follow this story to read first**

 **Thanksss**


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